Parenting in the Digital Age

A calm-down corner (or area as it doesn’t have to be in a corner) is a place for angry and upset children to go to engage their minds and release their anger. I used this when my children were little in place of time-out because time-out didn’t work for my sensitive son. Here, I’ll show you how to make the perfect calm-down corner for your child that you can put together today and start to use right away.



The Purpose

Becoming and remaining calm during anger is an important skill for children to learn. When we are angry, something significant happens in our brains. We experience an “amygdala hijack” and the primitive part of our brain is activated.



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What’s in the Corner?

Calm-Down Corner: keep anything in there that can soothe and engage your childEveryone’s corner looks a little different because it should be tailored to suit your individual child, but I’ll show you mine! Here are the major components of a great calm-down corner.

*Comforting: My son loved his penguin Pillow Pet, so that provided a comfortable place to sit with something that he enjoyed. You can use pillows, cushions, blankets, or even a rocket ship!

*Sensory: Some children are soothed with sensory activities. I made a batch of colorful rice scented with a drop of lavender essential oil. There were hidden gems and a couple of spoons for digging around in the rice with. Alternatively, my youngest had small balloons to pop. That would scare some kids, but it really helped to shift him out of anger. Others may like to rip construction paper or blow into a crushed plastic bottle.

*Calming: I made one of the calm-down glitter jars that are all over Pinterest and both of my kids loved to shake it and watch it swirl around. The goal is to shift the mind to something besides the upset, and watching the glitter focuses the mind and brings it to the present moment.

*Engaging: I had board books to look through and also paper and markers for drawing or scribbling. Your child may like small stuffed animals, a coloring book, or toy cars.

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I wrote this in an article for Creative Child Magazine:

“I think, culturally, we need to move past the idea that too much love rewards or spoils children. This idea damages our relationships and leads us to treat unfairly those who are newest among us. Children do not enter the world with bad intentions. They do not come to wear us out, test our limits, or seek control. They come with a need for love and guidance.

In 5 years of practicing positive parenting, I have never found that love drives misbehavior, but that the opposite is true. Love allows them to grow into their full potential.”

Source: afineparent.com