Parenting in the Digital Age

I’ve always had a hard time saying no. I’m a people pleaser. I don’t want anyone to be unhappy or angry at me. And I have a bleeding heart; I feel it when people are suffering, and I want to make it right. So I can’t help but reach out to anyone and everything, offer all that I can, and shove my own needs aside.



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I have thought I could change people just by virtue of empathy and love. But I could not. The only one who changed was me. I exhausted myself trying to help; I was crushed, depleted, a shadow of my former self. But recently, there has been a shift in me. I am choosing self-protection over self-sacrifice. Quite frankly, I’m done with that bullshit.

Of course, the shift had to happen as a result of a bit of a breakdown.

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I remember I was on my phone, answering an email or a text from one of the many jobs/volunteer gigs I was currently committed to, and my 3-year-old came up to me saying, “Mommy, put down your phone. I miss you.”

Tears filled my eyes. The most important commitment I had was right there at my feet, exuding love to me, even though I had been ignoring him for hours, weeks, months.

There is this internet meme going around that really speaks to me. It goes like this: “You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no.” That’s going to be my mantra from now on. No matter what I do, I will always be kind. That’s not the thing I need to work on. It’s the saying no part that needs attention and care.

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Source: scarymommy.com