Parenting in the Digital Age

If you have kids or teenagers at home, chances are you have a complicated relationship with screens.



On one hand, you know that capturing monsters in Pokemon Go or taking a portal to the Nether in Minecraft is probably not the healthiest way for your kids to spend the afternoon.

On the other hand, they are so happy and quiet when they are bathed in the glow of a smartphone, tablet or TV. And some of those apps and shows have educational value, right? What if your child is tracing letters or learning to count? Can screen time ever be beneficial?

To provide some guidance to parents grappling with these vexing issues, the American Academy of Pediatrics has issued new guidelines for how children should spend time in front of all types of screens.

The recommendations are based on dozens of studies on screen time and its effect on the emotional and physical health of kids of all ages. They also incorporate evidence about whether young children really do learn from apps and TV shows.

However, the authors of the guideline noted that the digital landscape is changing faster than researchers can study it.

Here's the latest advice from pediatricians for managing your kids' screen time.



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Use of mobile devices like smartphones has risen dramatically in the last few years. When the Kaiser Family Foundation began surveying parents in 2011, they found that 52% of children ages 8 and under had access to a mobile device. By 2013, that figure had jumped to 75%.

Other studies have shown that most babies start interacting with digital media at the tender age of 4 months, and that most 2-year-olds use a mobile device on a daily basis.

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Some studies have shown that 1-year-olds can learn new words from certain kinds of videos, but only if a parent watches the video with the child and reteaches the words.

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In a 1996 study of 5- to 10-year-olds in the U.S., researchers found that the odds of being overweight were 4.6 times greater for children who watched more than five hours of TV a day than for those who watched no more than two hours.

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Source latimes.com

Dot is like a lot of 8-year-old girls in 2016 — spirited, smart and savvy when it comes to all things tech. Although Dot is a cartoon, she is doing real-world work to inspire girls to take these qualities into their adult lives.



A new children's show, Dot, featuring the young character recently premiered in the hopes of tackling tech's gender gap. The titular character is a spunky girl with insatiable curiosity about the world — and she uses technology to help learn, create and explore.

The groundbreaking show explores what it's like to live as a child — particularly a young girl — in a tech-focused world.



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To help address the gap, Zuckerberg created the character of Dot in 2013 to inspire young girls to see tech as exciting and engaging. Dot, she says, is a role model for girls to picture themselves in a tech industry dominated by white men.

"I grew so frustrated by so few women in the room wherever I went," Zuckerberg tells NPR of her time in the industry. "It was a fantastic decade, but also a lonely one. And so I thought, what if we could get more messages out into pop culture with female role models for young girls, showing them how exciting and cool and wonderful this world of technology is? Maybe that could inspire the next generation of leaders."

In the show, Dot goes on everyday adventures with her best friend, Hal — a young boy of color meant to inspire kids of color to see themselves in the tech industry, too. Along the way, the two rely on tech to enhance their real-world experiences, constantly using their tablets to guide them along the way. But the pair also engages with high tech as well, experimenting with robots, drones and 3D-printing, according to Zuckerberg.

"Dot and her group of friends don't look like your typical cast of characters," Zuckerberg tells AdWeek. "I wanted them to reflect all levels of diversity."

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She hopes, then, that Dot can be a source of inspiration for young kids while also lessening the hesitation parents have to embrace a tech-focused world.

"When [adults] think of screen time, we immediately go to a place of anxiety and fear," she tells NPR. "But children don't feel that way. To them, the future is fun. They don't think about, now I'm using tech, and now I'm not."

Source mashable.com

How much time should kids be allowed to stare into their screens like zombies? New guidelines issued by the American Academy of Pediatrics upturns conventional thinking on the matter, showing that a sweeping one-size-fits-all approach is not the right way for parents to go about limiting their children’s screen time.



For years, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has told parents to limit their child’s screen time to no more than two hours per day, whether that time is spent in front of a television, tablet computer, laptop, or mobile phone. What’s more, the AAP made virtually no mention of age, or the kind of content that should be limited, issuing a simplified blanket approach to media use.

In a series of papers published today in the science journal Pediatrics, it’s clear that the AAP has significantly revised its thinking on the matter, breaking down media use according to all these criteria. And to support parents with these new recommendations, the AAP has published an interactive, online tool that families can use to create a personalized Family Media Use Plan.



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Lastly, the AAP says parents should designate media-free times for the entire family, such as during dinner or while driving, and that families should also create media-free zones in the home, such as in bedrooms—which, good luck.

Indeed, these guidelines are all well and good—and they’re undoubtedly not even wrong—but implementing these prescriptions is another thing entirely. The AAP, with its lofty recommendations, doesn’t sound entirely in tune with the realities of daily life. Parents obviously want to raise healthy children who aren’t constantly glued to computer screens, but these devices are a godsend for those moments when a parent needs to make dinner, or when they simply need to go to the bathroom. A few moments of peace and quiet can do wonders for a parent, powering them with the patience to truck on and put on a genuine smile when the kids comes calling. When it comes to limiting screen time, there’s a tradeoff between parental health, and the needs of a child—and that needs to be acknowledged.

And let’s face it, sometimes it’s fun for both the kid and the parent to watch Minions for the 30th time.

Source gizmodo.com

Common discipline tricks include time-out, spanking, removal of privileges, and grounding. Many parents are even getting quite creative with their tricks, using humiliation, public shaming, and hot sauce. Unfortunately, while these tricks may work in the short term, they erode the trust and connection that are so vital to our true parental authority.



Which leaves many asking “well what do we do?” Giving specific discipline advice is my least favorite thing to do as a parenting author and educator because all situations, children, and family dynamics are unique. I believe we parent at our best when we evaluate each circumstance, reading our children as best we can in that moment, and meeting them where they are to teach them what they need to know depending upon what the problem reveals to us. I believe we need to let go of fanciful ideas of one-size-fits-all discipline, promising programs, and quick fixes and look to our own intuition and knowledge of our children and circumstances.



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Depending upon development and maturity, you might ask her how she made the other child feel and what she can do to fix it. Keep your sentences short and simple. “I’ll keep everyone safe.” “Are you feeling better?” “If you push again, we will go home.” Then, of course, follow through by going home if she continues such behavior.

If she is frantic and will not sit on your lap or next to you, it’s probably time to go home and give her some food and/or a nap. If leaving isn’t an option, consider keeping a calm down travel bag in your purse. I’ve used them in stores while grocery shopping.

Calm-Down Area – This is basically a time-in while you are in the comfort of your own home and can transition to a place your child can go independently to calm down with time and practice. I’ve given detailed instructions on setting up a great calm-down area in this post.

Cool-Off – For older children, taking a period of time to cool-off may be just what they need. This works well with arguing siblings, too. Ask them to go to their separate rooms or separate areas of the home until they can be peaceful together. There is a difference in using a harsh attitude to force a child into his room for 30 minutes and suggesting that a child take some time to read a book or get some space from his frustration. Delivery is important.

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Source creativechild.com

Anger is a perfectly normal emotion, and learning to manage it appropriately is one key to emotional health and well-being. If your child is having frequent angry outbursts, it’s important to get to the root of the issue and teach them calming strategies that work. Before we get into those calming strategies, let’s look beneath the yelling, hitting, and aggressive behavior and into the emotional world of a child.



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The emotional life of toddlers and preschoolers is much more complex, the paper says. Notably, the authors say, “The emotional health of young children is closely tied to the emotional and social characteristics of the environments in which they live.” While differences in temperament are part of their biological makeup, their experiences are coded in their brain circuitry, and what we both model and teach regarding emotions affects how their brain circuits get “wired.” The early childhood years are critical for learning positive ways to deal with one’s emotional world as the emotional center of the brain and the prefrontal cortex (where empathy, reasoning, and self-control lie) are rapidly developing.

This brings us to our main point: How do we help an angry child calm down?

1. Help your child name the emotion.

2. Meet anger with empathy.

3. Try time-in instead of time-out.

4. Teach your child breathing techniques.

5. Teach mindfulness.

6. Give him play dough. For many kids, tactile sensory activities can be soothing.

7. Allow enough time for kids to de-stress through free and creative play.

8. Put her in the bath.

9. If your child needs space to calm down, that’s fine.

10. Teach them how to do a body scan.



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Source: creativechild.com

We’d just collected my third grader from school and made it back home again, which meant my two littlest ones had been held hostage in the car for an hour round-trip.



Which is why the second my feet crossed the threshold, 1-year-old Charlie wriggled out of my arms and headed straight for the LEGOs, with 3-year-old Bailey at her heels.

Charlie picked up a bowl filled with LEGOs, and Bailey snatched it from her. Charlie threw her head back and let out a high-pitched wail.

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But what’s the difference between telling another person they are something bad versus telling them they’re being something bad?

Were these labels helping my children learn an important life lesson? Or were my words introducing shame and sadness, squashing any potential for them to learn from the situation?

I thought back to when I was a kid. When my uncle called me “grumpy” or my sister called me “lazy” or my teacher called me “shy.” Labels stick. More than 30 years later, they stick.

The idea of my careless words to my three-year-old sticking 30 years later? My eyes filled.

I promised myself I’d figure out the answer once and for all – what effect do my words really have on my kids? I spent several nights after the kids were in bed reading article after article, post after post. Here are the highlights of what I found:

When your child is shamed for her behavior, she’s so wrapped up in her own negative emotions that she’s less capable of feeling empathy toward others.

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Labeling your child’s behavior (or personality) in a negative way becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, when you declare something like this to yourself or another person, it’s enough to influence your behavior to fulfill that declaration of “truth.” For example, let’s say you’re nervous about giving a presentation and think to yourself, “I’ll probably forget all the words.” Then you probably will – you’re living “down” to a self-fulfilling prophecy. This phenomenon even has a name – the Golem effect. But if you tell yourself, “I’m excited to share what I know,” then you’re more likely to do well.

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I pulled back from our hug to see whether Bailey was starting to calm down. Her eyes were still rimmed in red, but the tears had stopped.

“Will you forgive me?” I asked.

She nodded, and then a pudgy baby hand appeared between us.

Little Charlie, holding out a LEGO that had been in the coveted bowl. A peace offering.



Bailey smiled. “Thank you, Charlie.”

And in response, Charlie did the hand sign for “thank you.”

An impromptu exchange of kindness between a three-year-old and a one-year-old.

I smiled big and scooped Charlie into my lap next to Bailey. “You guys are awesome sauce.”

Now, that’s a label I don’t mind sticking around for 30 years.

Source: idealistmom.com

In the course of his research, leadership expert and author of best-selling psychology books Dr. Tim Elmore has discovered several major mistakes which parents often make when raising their children, which can reduce their self-confidence from an early age and limit their chances of becoming successful in their careers and personal lives.



To help you avoid making the committing the same errors, we’ve reproduced them below. Take a look.

1. We don’t let our children experience risk
We live in a world that warns us of danger at every turn. The «safety first» preoccupation enforces our fear of losing our kids, so we do everything we can to protect them. It’s our job after all, but we have insulated them from healthy risk-taking behavior and it’s had an adverse effect. Psychologists in Europe have discovered that if a child doesn’t play outside and is never allowed to experience a skinned knee, they frequently have phobias as adults.

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2. We rescue too quickly
Today’s generation of young people has not developed some of the life skills kids did 30 years ago because adults swoop in and take care of problems for them. When we rescue too quickly and over-indulge our children with «assistance,» we remove the need for them to navigate hardships and solve problems on their own. It’s parenting for the short-term and it sorely misses the point of leadership—to equip our young people to do it without help.

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3. We rave too easily
The self-esteem movement has been around since Baby Boomers were kids, but it took root in our school systems in the 1980s. Attend a little league baseball game and you’ll see that everyone is a winner. This «everyone gets a trophy» mentality might make our kids feel special, but research is now indicating this method has unintended consequences.

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4. We let guilt get in the way of leading well
Your child does not have to love you every minute. Your kids will get over the disappointment, but they won’t get over the effects of being spoiled. So tell them «no» or «not now,» and let them fight for what they really value and need. As parents, we tend to give them what they want when rewarding our children, especially with multiple kids.

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5. We don’t share our past mistakes
Healthy teens are going to want to spread their wings and they’ll need to try things on their own. We as adults must let them, but that doesn’t mean we can’t help them navigate these waters. Share with them the relevant mistakes you made when you were their age in a way that helps them learn to make good choices. (Avoid negative «lessons learned» having to do with smoking, alcohol, illegal drugs, etc.)

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6. We mistake intelligence, giftedness and influence for maturity
Intelligence is often used as a measurement of a child’s maturity, and as a result parents assume an intelligent child is ready for the world. That’s not the case. Some professional athletes and Hollywood starlets, for example, possess unimaginable talent, but still get caught in a public scandal. Just because giftedness is present in one aspect of a child’s life, don’t assume it pervades all areas.



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7. We don’t practice what we preach
As parents, it is our responsibility to model the life we want our children to live. To help them lead a life of character and become dependable and accountable for their words and actions. As the leaders of our homes, we can start by only speaking honest words — white lies will surface and slowly erode character. Watch yourself in the little ethical choices that others might notice, because your kids will notice too.

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Source: brightside.me

“Play is the primary engine of human growth. It’s universal — as much as walking and talking.” That’s what Nancy Carlsson-Paige, an early childhood development expert, wrote in this post about just how “twisted” early childhood education that ignores the value of play has become. Classes for young children that concentrate on academics and force kids to sit in chairs and do worksheets for hours on end are harmful — and now, there is a risk that a new “play disparity” between kids from poor and better-to-do families is widening and could be exacerbated by a push for universal pre-kindergarten.

Here’s a new post on this issue by Carlsson-Paige, who for decades has been at the forefront of the debate on how best to educate — and not educate — the youngest students. She is a professor emerita of education at Lesley University in Cambridge, Mass., where she taught teachers for more than 30 years and was a founder of the university’s Center for Peaceable Schools. She is also a founding member and senior adviser of a nonprofit called Defending the Early Years, which commissions research about early childhood education and advocates for sane policies for young children.



Soon many of our nation’s young children will be starting school for the first time. What they will likely find is something dramatically different from what their parents experienced at their age. Kindergartens and pre-K classrooms have changed. There is less play, less art and music, less child choice, more teacher-led instruction, worksheets, and testing than a generation ago. Studies tell us that these changes, although pervasive, are most evident in schools serving high percentages of low-income children of color.

The pressure to teach academic skills in pre-K and kindergarten has been increasing since the passage of the No Child Left Behind act 15 years ago. Today, many young children are required to sit in chairs, sometimes for long periods of time, as a teacher instructs them. This goes against their natural impulse to learn actively through play where they are fully engaged–body, mind, and spirit.

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We’ve seen a worrisome trend in recent years showing high rates of suspension from the nation’s public preschools. The latest report from the Office for Civil Rights reveals that these suspensions are disproportionately of low-income black boys. (This pattern continues for children in grades K-12.) Something is very wrong when thousands of preschoolers are suspended from school each year. While multiple causes for suspensions exist, one major cause for this age group is play deprivation. Preschool and kindergarten suspensions occur primarily in schools serving low-income, black and brown children and these are the schools with an excess of drill-based instruction and little or no play.

There are many children who simply cannot adapt to the unnatural demands of early academic instruction. They can’t suppress their inborn need to move and create using their bodies and senses. They act out; they get suspended from school, now even from preschool.



There are also impressive numbers of young children who do manage to adapt to overly academic programs. But even for them, this comes at a cost. They lose out on all the benefits of play-based learning. Instead they learn facts and skills by rote practice; they learn that there are right and wrong answers, that the teacher defines what is learned. They learn compliance. They don’t get to discover that they can invent new ideas. They don’t get to feel the sense of empowerment found in playful learning.

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Our public education system is riddled with disparities. Let’s not create a new play inequality as we move toward providing greater access to early childhood education for all children.

Source washingtonpost.com

Common discipline tricks include time-out, spanking, removal of privileges, and grounding. Many parents are even getting quite creative with their tricks, using humiliation, public shaming, and hot sauce. Unfortunately, while these tricks may work in the short term, they erode the trust and connection that are so vital to our true parental authority.



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Time-in is a great alternative to time-out because rather than isolating a little one, which can feel scary and threatening causing further agitation and misbehavior, time-in brings the child closer, often onto our laps or sitting next to us. I know this may seem counter-intuitive at first because we’ve been so conditioned to believe that we must push children away in order to make them behave, but many parents have shared testimonies of success with time-in.

What does it look like: If you away from home, let’s say at a park, and your child pushes another child down in frustration, you’d go to her, say “Uh-oh, you pushed her down and that hurt her. Come sit with me and I’ll keep everyone safe.” You bring her to your lap, arms gently wrapped around her, and judge what state she is in.

If she is angry, she may need your help to calm her brain. Perhaps rocking back and forth, humming a familiar song, or telling her a story will soothe her. She needs to sit with you until she has calmed down and is able to tell you that pushing others down is not okay.

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Pull Over – If a spat breaks out in the car, pull to the side of the road and tell them it is difficult to drive safely when they are arguing. Then sit and silence. When they stop arguing, resume your trip. This isn’t always a feasible option, but when it is, it really gets the point across quite quickly.



The Peace Table – A way to teach children to solve their disputes peacefully is by taking them to a peace table. Each child gets a chance to state their case and the parent walks them through to a peaceful resolution and then sees that it is carried through. After a few practices, mine were able to work through their own disagreements without my assistance.

Repair - When children fight with one another, they should learn the value of repairing relationships. Teach them the value of an apology and ask what they can do to reconnect with their sibling. My children usually choose to write a note or card or just give a hug. It doesn’t have to be a verbal apology but just a reaching out to make amends.

Source creativechild.com

When our three kids were in middle school, we did a lot of things wrong – especially with the first one. But along with those parenting mistakes were some parenting wins. Beginning in the middle school years, we made a few concerted efforts to protect our kids from the more negative aspects of adolescence. Here are a few parenting wins in that I think we got right.



Plan Something Fun Every Weekend A lot of bad things start in the middle school years: peer pressure, experimentation with alcohol and pot, sexual activity, walking around the neighborhood at night Getting Up To No Good. No one gets invited to every party, but that doesn’t mean your thirteen-year-old isn’t feeling miserable about it – and she’ll never tell you, either. They will feel pressure to go to the junior high dance, but secretly not want to go.

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Be Home Base
Our kids knew they could have friends over any time. I hate sleepovers with the white hot intensity of the sun, but we hosted them anyway. Team dinners, poker night, football viewing parties, cooking parties, we made it a point to offer our house.

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Reading for Pleasure
Of all our parenting wins, the best was to make reading a family activity. We read out loud together at night, fought over the latest Harry Potter book, and talked about what we were reading over dinner. We went to the library as a family. If we went to a movie, we would always discuss afterwards how it stacked up against the book. We listened to books on CD on car trips.

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Eat Dinner Together
Even if it was just grilled cheese eaten after cross country practice, we made sure to sit down as a family at dinner. We made a ritual out of each person sharing our Best and Worst of the day. Sometimes that was the only way I learned anything about what was going on at school.

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Family Pets
Yes, they shed, track in dirt, and vomit on the oriental rug. But they also search for you in the crowd of school kids at dismissal, and literally jump for joy when they see you. They don’t ask you how your algebra test went. They provide stress relief, companionship, and unconditional love. Experts say that pets help keep family members more emotionally engaged with each other, and teach teens, even those who don’t readily express emotions, how to give back love and affection to others.

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Time Outdoors
We spent a lot of time outdoors – in the yard, hiking, having river walks, or just a family walk around the neighborhood with the dog. Big problems seem smaller outdoors, right? Our kids complained before every single one of them about being forced on “another Bataan death march,” but by the end of the outing they were laughing and having a great time. It got them away from the computer or Xbox, and helped to instill a lasting love of the outdoors. Two of the kids have joined outdoor clubs in college, and the other has taken up rock climbing. It cuts down on screen time, too. It’s a parenting win that keeps on giving.

Source: yourteenmag.com

A mom is upset by the impact of screens on her family life. Our expert offers ideas for managing screen time for kids.



Managing Screen Time for Kids

You are not alone; parents everywhere struggle with this same challenging issue. Off the bat, it helps to remember that we adults also depend on our devices — for music, entertainment, news, bill payments, FaceTime with grandma, making appointments, texting the babysitter… The list goes on and on! Here are some ideas for how to effectively manage screen time for kids.

1. MODEL GOOD HABITS.

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2. ADD STRUCTURE.

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3. BE WILLING TO TAKE SCREENS AWAY.

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4. NO SCREENS AFTER BEDTIME.

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5. REMAIN NEUTRAL.

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6. BE CONSISTENT.

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7. KNOW WHAT YOUR KIDS ARE DOING ONLINE.

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In summary, when it comes to managing screen time for kids — model screen etiquette, schedule a consistent block of screen time daily or weekly (after homework), take control by limiting or taking away devices outside of the scheduled blocks, use a neutral tone and language when you are setting limits, and discuss content and digital citizenship. Good luck! You may not arrive at a “perfect” solution, but you can make progress!

Source: yourteenmag.com

Parents want to make sure their kids are handling social media correctly, but it’s tough to know just how involved parents should be. We asked experts to share their best tips for monitoring your kids’ online behavior and best practices for raising kids who are good digital citizens.



“The first thing you need to do is know what social media your kids are using, whether it is Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Musical.ly or something else,” says Denise DeRosa, tech parenting expert and founder of Cyber Sensible Consulting. “Then, you should make sure you understand what it is, how your kids are using it and what information is being shared.”

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There are pros and cons to every social media app. “It’s not about good apps and bad apps, but more abut how are you using them,” says Devorah Heitner, Ph.D., author of the book “Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World” and founder of Raising Digital Natives. “Parents need to keep an open dialogue. Talking about social media is not a one and done conversation,” says Heitner.



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“The key is developing open lines of communication so if kids do run into a problem, they come to you,” says Justin Patchin, Ph.D., Professor of Criminal Justice, University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, and co-director of the Cyberbullying Research Center. Frequently remind kids of all ages, even older teenagers, that you are available to help. “Kids should know devices are fair game at any time for parents to check in on, especially younger kids,” says Patchin.

The conversation surrounding sexting may not be comfortable, but it is necessary. “One third of kids have sexted, and all kids need to fully understand the potential consequences. There could be criminal implications, but more likely there will be reputational consequences,” says Patchin.

Knorr says that we need to make sure our kids understand that there is a risk in taking inappropriate photos. “We need to help our kids learn that any photo or video taken on a device with an internet connection can be shared far and wide, and they should take only photos that are okay to share,” she says.

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Source: makeitbetter.net

Almost half (45%) of young people are checking their mobile phones after they have gone to bed, a poll suggests.

A survey of 2,750 11- to 18-year-olds found one in 10 admitted checking their mobile phones for notifications at least 10 times a night.



The poll was carried out by Digital Awareness UK and the Headmasters' and Headmistresses' Conference.

The organisations warn night-time usage of mobiles means pupils are coming to school tired and unable to concentrate.

They recommend having a "digital detox" and putting mobile devices away for 90 minutes before lights-out or keeping them out of the bedroom.

Of the 45% of survey respondents who check their phones when they should be sleeping, almost all (94%) are on social media - with a tenth saying they would feel stressed about missing out if they did not check their device before going to sleep.

Of this group, 75% are listening to music and over half (57%) are watching films.

A third (32%) of these youngsters say their parents are not aware that they check their mobile device after going to bed.



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Charlotte Robertson, DAUK co-founder, said: "One of the biggest topics around at the moment is excessive social media consumption and how it is affecting our physical and emotional wellbeing.

"A lot of them [children] are waking up sometimes with over 100 notifications from conversations that have happened overnight.

"They want to be that person that is responding at 01:00, and seen to be quite cool, to make sure they catch the joke - it's a huge driver, that anxiety of wanting to know what's happened."

HMC chairman Mike Buchanan said: "The data suggests those who do check their phones, they're mostly driven by not wishing to miss out.

"Clearly there are some times when children are not concentrating because they are tired, and that has an obvious impact on their ability to keep up with what's going on - there is a desire to stay within the group.

"It's not that this [technology] is all horrible and terrible and that we should all be wringing our hands.

"It is more a case that here's the reality, let's use it and try to influence the use of technology in a positive way."

Source: bbc.com

We live in an age where communication is on tap. Facebook, email and the web – accessed anytime, anywhere, from the palm of our hand.



On the face of it smartphones have made parenting easier – I can write a quick email at the school gates, entertain a bored child with a video or capture a proud moment on my camera. But is there a darker side to my phone use? Well, research still lags behind our widespread adoption of smartphones but recent studies suggest caregivers are more likely to respond harshly to children when highly absorbed in their smartphone and the mere presence of a phone on the table makes people sitting around feel more disconnected. Smartphones have even been linked to a 10% increase in unintentional childhood injuries with children engaging in more risk-taking behaviour when their caregivers are distracted.

The over-use of our smartphones is a subject many parents consider but often conveniently dismiss in favour of the positives. But however hard I try I can’t help thinking there must be a deeper impact I’m not seeing – are my children having to compete for my attention against my phone?

It was at my local park that the thought first came to mind. As I admired the kids and parents in the park, I realised that every parent was silently supervising their children with their faces glued to a screen. The kids played alone whilst the parents responded to their shout for attention with ‘hang on, just a minute, I’m just doing something…’ – without even looking up to meet their child’s gaze. And I get it, I really do – I was doing the same.

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Your phone is the perfect pick-me-up and parenthood is hard enough without another judgement or sacrifice right? Well, yes – and I’m not proposing we all shun technology and search out those ancient Nokia’s but maybe we ought to control ourselves a bit more.



Leave our phones at the door with the keys, leave them off the dinner table and have designated device-free family time. Take the photos but don’t post them instantly and wait for the replies – set time aside when the kids aren’t around. There are even apps you can download to monitor or block your access to social media and email if you need help.

I’m not pretending I have the answers though – I’m still battling with the questions myself. I do personally feel that my phone usage has a darker side and it’s one I’m trying not to ignore. And however hard I try, I can’t help thinking that each time I check my phone, I’m checking-out of parenthood.

Source: medium.com

Teenagers have been bullying each other around as long as we can remember. Even most adults now have been bullied at some point in their life. But now, with technology in the mix in the form of social media platforms (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc), Texting, IMing, etc bullies no longer have to confront their victim’s face to face. Additionally, as mentioned earlier, we were allowed to come home and escape all of that for a few hours and pretend that everything was okay. But for the kids now, bullying doesn’t cease since the bully can follow them home via the social media. This new form of bullying takes place using something that we consider a revolutionary technology that has been helping millions across the globe – Cyberspace!



Currently being dubbed as ”Cyber-bullying”, this monster is responsible for giving power to even those who do not have the courage to face the one they are tormenting head-on. The internet allows them to stay in the shadows and torture their targets anonymously via cyber-bullying.

How can TheOnSpy application help with Cyber-Bullying?

Spy applications may sound like quite a notorious word but the term “spy” is only used here in the most conventional of ways. The word “monitoring” is apter here. It might sound like an invasion of privacy to most but to parents, it is the perfect way to be on the lookout for cyber-bullies who will be bad for the physical and mental wellbeing of their children. Let’s explore in what ways are TheOneSpy monitoring application is helpful.



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Cyber-bulling is a problem that is not going to go way on its own. We need to work together and work hard to eradicate this problem from our lives as well as the lives of our children.

Source: theonespy.com

As an athlete of a university, you represent yourself, your team, your school and even your community – whether on the field, on campus and now more than ever, online. If used well, online connections can help you succeed. If used poorly, it could create obstacles toward your goals.



First, it is important that you be purposeful in your online presence. You have got to lose the bad habits you had when you were younger and re-think how you want to present yourself now that you are widening your networks. What you want is to create a positive foundation you can build upon.

Let’s Start with Defense

The best way to maintain a positive digital reputation is to take control of it. You are responsible for your personal data, your safety, your knowledge, and your behavior online. Here are some simple defensive strategies to up your game:

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Score Big On Offense

Now that your defense is set, think about what you want to achieve on offense. Your ultimate goal is to prepare yourself for life after college. That starts now. Whether you have the opportunity to continue on with sports or you are looking to a career in a completely separate profession or even if you don’t yet know what you want to do next, it’s important you cast yourself in the best light now. What do you want future employers, teammates, or coaches to know about you? Once you have decided, find a way to share that online.

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Social Media Game Plan

With all that said, don’t edit out your personality. Social media is meant to be social, so have fun! Connect with positive people and be your best self online. Don’t let others define you. Take advantage of the power of social media to tell your story. Define your personal brand to present who you are, how you got here and where you want to go. When designing your game plan remember social media is:

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Social media can be a great facilitator toward your success. Make the best of it. Take advantage of what is at your fingertips to showcase how truly great you are.

Source: huffingtonpost.com

I have read that according to a recent study, 2 out of 3 parents are completely unaware of their children’s activities using the internet. You might be thinking that kids can manage themselves and exploring is fine and that it’s something you encourage in your household. Like a corporate zombie, you then resume with your busy schedule, phone calls, meetings and you barely even have time for your kids anymore when you get home. I understand how this is becoming a rinse-and-repeat process as I am one of those corporate slaves too, but we are parents.



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Based on my own experience, I listed down useful tips for digital parenting:

1. Set boundaries – it could be a no-internet-zone in your house or a browsing curfew set after dinner. Just create an air of authority on this. I know kids will always be kids but it’s necessary for them to know the essence of responsible freedom as early as possible.

2. Security – Use site filters, check applications before installing them in any device, know the age requirement in these applications too. If you want to breathe a sigh of relief, Visible Internet is an awesome monitoring application for parents, too.



3. Moderation – Anything excessive is bad. Limit your kids’ usage of devices such as tablets and phones. Well, they don’t really need one of their own so let them borrow yours and as mentioned, set a time limit which is non-negotiable.

4. Talk to your kids and explain that digital devices are not toys – they are tools that make our lives convenient only if utilized the right way.

Kids will always imitate what they see so it’s important to be a role model in this endeavor and participate in their digital experience. Let your kids know your values and share how to see the world in a digital perspective.

Source: visibleinternet.com

Absolutely no screen time for kids younger than two years old; for children two years and older, limit screen time to up to two hours max. That has been the recommendation of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) for more than fifteen years now.

However, as times change, the AAP has started loosening its strict guidelines. "In a world where 'screen time' is becoming simply 'time,' our policies must evolve or become obsolete," pediatrician Dr. Ari Brown of the AAP said in a statement, as the previous recommendations were made way before the invention of the iPad.



5 Tips on Raising a Low-Gadget Kid in the Digital Age

The AAP conducted a two-day symposium entitled “Growing Up Digital: Media Research Symposium” to evaluate the effects of digital devices on a child’s cognitive, socio-emotional, and developmental growth. Based on up-to-date and more recent studies discussed during the convention, the AAP updated its advice on young kids and media use accordingly.

While new formal recommendations are still not available. Dr. Brown stresses that "digital life begins at a young age, and so must parental guidance."

We have summarized four key takeaways from the new guidelines, which you can read in full here.

1. Play key to a child’s learning.

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2. Prioritize quality content.

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3. Set limits and unplug once in a while.

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4. It’s okay for teens to be online.

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Psychologist Vange Alianan-Bautista, of PsychConsult, Inc. in Quezon City, and school directress Maggie Rose Almoro, of Children’s Formative Learning School in Laguna, suggest these real-life activities. One, play with babies and tots; it's the primary way they learn to make sense of the world they are in. Two, more than visual stimulation, babies and young tots should be doing activities that require them to move and interact as opposed to watching TV which is a one-way medium. Lastly, reading to these young kids is also crucial as well as letting them play with blocks or books alone. Don't forget to incorporate these activites in your tot's daily life.

Source: smartparenting.com

In the quick-paced world that we call our home, the marathon to success is endless. No one really cares for the welfare of someone else; rather they work selfishly on their race to success. Moreover, people are only concentrating on making money, even through things like pornography, dating websites, child trafficking, etc. all of which have a negative impact on the society as a whole. As harmful as this is for adults, it is even more dangerous for the young generation. These things can basically wind up taking your children to such places and in the company of such people who aren’t keen on helping them on the road to positivity and success. Rather, they lead the kids astray, making them do things that are injurious to them mentally as well as physically. Given below is a glimpse of some of the dangers lurking around our kids.



Drug Abuse

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Porn addiction

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Cyber-bullying



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Sexting

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How to Keeps Kids Safe

It is the responsibility of parents to make sure that their children stay away from such influences and things that could have a negative effect on their grooming. This can often prove out to be a time-taking and tiring task, but, what some parents aren’t aware of is that they can spy on their kids without them ever finding out. TheOneSpy app is specially manufactured for troubled parents and suspicious spouses as well as concerned employees to help them alleviate them of their anxiousness.

TheOneSpy apps made it quite easy for parents to get to know their children using it for this purpose. Parents will be able to know their kid more closely; they will be able to keep a close check on him/her and will be able to stop any kind of danger being inflicted on their kid in the near future.

Conclusion

The online world is definitely a war-zone for young vulnerable kids who have no prior knowledge to protect them from the atrocities that the cyber world has the offer. This is why using TOS parental monitoring application can help parents and guardians alike protect kids can keep them safe from such dilemmas.

Source: theonespy.com

When regulators at the Federal Trade Commission take steps within the coming weeks to strengthen the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act of 1998, they could well be acting with Vicki Turner in mind.

Along with raising her three kids, ages 16, 13, and 7, and working a job with handicapped children and adults, the 43-year-old resident of Fullerton, Calif., also spends a big part of her life monitoring her oldest kids’ online activities: steering them away from inappropriate content, preventing them from uploading photos of themselves onto commercial sites that invite them to do so, and occasionally making them unfriend a person on Facebook whom Turner considers undesirable. When told about Mark Zuckerberg’s declared ambition to open Facebook to children under the age of 13, she sighs. “He just cares about what will profit him,” she says.



By “damage,” Wasserman doesn’t mean only the danger of meeting a predator on the Internet. She is also referring to what seems to be an almost infinite spectrum of online harm. A child could be bullied or harshly excluded from an instantly formed clique. At the same time, the pressure to be constantly posting, tweeting, and updating one’s status threatens to obstruct the development of what used to be called, in unwired times, a child’s “inner resources.” With all the frenzied social networking on sites like Facebook, our kids are often forced to be social before they have become socialized. Even for the most gregarious children, the Web’s constant reminder of majority opinion makes them fearful of trying to say or do anything that doesn’t please the crowd. Yet appealing to the Web’s masses also offers them the temptation to say things they would never ordinarily have uttered in public—things that can come back to haunt them later in life.

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The process of maturing is a movement from a rich yet defensive inner space to the outer reality of pleasure postponement, setback, and perseverance. But the Internet offers one recessive chamber after another of inwardness; it is a place where distraction and immediate gratification become cognitive tools in themselves. The main barrier between parent and child, which looms gigantic in adolescence, is the stubborn insularity of a child’s world. These days that insularity has its own enabling techniques, skills, and idiom. What used to be quaintly called the generation gap is now adorned with the corporate logos of Apple, Google, and Facebook.

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Dr. John Huxsahl, co-chairman of the Division of Child Psychiatry and Psychology at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., says the Internet “allows you instant access to what other people desire more than to what you desire.” Confor-mity becomes an end in itself—what Hughey calls “a new category of peer pressure.” Even Turkle’s MIT students are not immune. “They leave their phones on the seminar table” and wait for the little red light to blink, she says, “just to see who wants them.”

Of course, it is the transformation of chil-dren into desirable objects that alarms parents the most when Zuckerberg speaks of opening Facebook to the very young. “The Internet has created greater access to children,” said Cynthia Carreiro, a supervisory special agent in the FBI. Ironically, says Carreiro, it’s the very young children whose self-protective mechanisms are sharpest when they see the actual face of a predator. “Young kids are really grossed out,” she says. But on the Internet there are no physical danger signs standing between the seductive machinations of a monster and an innocent child.

Recent reports that a new flirting app, called Skout, resulted in three separate cases of children being raped by older men have driven home the dangers confronting minors when they go on the Web. After the rapes, Skout banned minors from the site, but they’ve since readmitted them, with new safeguards. Carreiro says that “parents have to educate themselves on how to protect their kids online.” At the same time, she is concerned about the rapid pace of changing technology. “It’s becoming more difficult for parents to block access,” she says.

That is, if they want to block access. According to a Consumer Reports article published last May, 7.5 million kids 12 and younger are on Facebook. Some of those kids’ parents helped their children create a fake birth date to get them access to the site. The fear of being disconnected can be even stronger for parents than for their sons and daughters. Gardner tells the story of parents who get around some summer camps’ prohibition against electronic devices by packing in with their children’s supplies teddy bears that have a cellphone or iPod sewn, prison-break style, into their tummies.

Then there are the parents who themselves become like children in the hands of the Internet. Several students have come to Hughey seeking help after walking in on a parent watching porn on the Web. They felt “shocked, betrayed, confused,” he said. Other students complained to him that their parents were so wrapped up in the Internet they didn’t come to ball games or spend time with their kids.

On several occasions, Hughey said, a divorced parent, after connecting with someone online, piled the kids into the car and drove off to start a new life with a person neither the parent nor the children had ever met. In one case, a single mother hauled her family to Texas from Wisconsin, only to get a “bad vibe” once she saw her online lover in the flesh. Returning to the hotel, she took to her laptop to check up on him and discovered that he had a criminal background. Then it was back to Wisconsin with her scared and confused children.

While parents such as these struggle with Internet addiction and disorientation, many children are actually becoming weary of their digital rounds. “Some kids complain about keeping up with the pace of the Internet,” says Huxsahl. “It’s a time of life when people are so vulnerable, so insecure, so cliquey,” he says. The jarring effect of being excluded online, or being “defriended” creates in some children a defensive aversion to the medium that is hurting them.



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A da vina pe părinți pentru bolile Internetului sugerează o așteptare dezamăgit de faptul că părinții vor îndeplini rolul lor tradițional în calitate de gardieni si protectori. În unele privințe, acuzația surprinzătoare Sprowls "este un motiv pentru parinti sa preia controlul mai ferm. Și, fără îndoială, pendulului, între un internet mai reglementat și una mai neîmpiedicat de ceva timp să vină. Atunci când, în ciuda agenților de publicitate, corporații și întreprinderi on-line, FTC Renovările în cele din urmă legi anacronice care reglementează comportamentul comercial on-line, care va fi cu un pas important spre un nou echilibru între indivizi și forțele economice care guvernează Web.

Între timp, mulți părinți vor continua să se apropie de Internet într-un spirit de improvizație mișcătoare. În timp ce Miriam Ancis refuză să angajeze oricare dintre proliferante noilor tehnologii capabile să monitorizeze viața online ale copiilor sale adolescente, ea subtil desfasoara propriul avertisment chirurg-tip general, consiliere copiii ei pentru a pune o pernă între ele și laptop-ul lor. "Acesta emite radiații", ea le spune, în speranța de-așa cum părinții au sperat că-întotdeauna copiii ei vor descoperi ei înșiși ceea ce înseamnă cu adevărat.

Source: newsweek.com

If you are one of the few out there who have not seen it: Stranger Things is a science fiction series that is very reminiscent of “The Goonies.” The story takes place in 1983 and the central plot line follows a group of four boys. In the first episode, one of the four boys goes missing. The three remaining best friends do their best to find and rescue their friend. They do so independent of adults. They work together as a team (mostly) and it all involves a lot of bike-riding. We all love the nostalgia in this throw-back drama. As an instructor of college courses in Infant and Child Development, I was immediately hooked on how the show depicted the preadolescent gang of boys.



Prior to the disappearance of their friend, the main characters spend their free-time riding bikes and playing Dungeons and Dragons, a table-top role-playing game. After the disappearance, they use the skills learned through years of friendship and freedom to participate in their own mystery man-hunt. If these kids survive what they are up against, every major CEO would want to hire them. They are smart, creative, team-players who are confident in their abilities to solve problems.

I feel a tinge of sadness that this type of childhood is unlikely for most kids growing up America today. And, it’s not because monsters and “upside down” worlds don’t exist. There has been a cultural shift in parenting that makes this type of independent group problem-solving very unlikely. I point to two primary culprits: (1) screens taking up an increasingly large percentage of children’s time and (2) our over-focus on supervision and safety of children.



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What’s interesting is that this is a recent cultural shift and one that is not based in any factual evidence. It does, however, coincide with the advent of the constant news cycle and media hype of stranger abductions. Crime statistics show that violent crime has decreased steadily and quite dramatically since the 1970’s. Yet, perception of crime has increased. What is important to note about these cases is that parents are being charged without regard to evidence of identifiable risk to the child.

Allowing a child to play independently or complete developmentally appropriate tasks by themselves is now a fad parenting style called: free-range parenting. However, having the freedom to solve problems without an adult’s micromanagement and the ability to play outside without rules and a coach is also called something else: healthy, normative child development. The ages at which it is developmentally appropriate will always be debated. And, it is true that the individual child’s temperament plays a large role in when it is appropriate for him or her to be granted certain freedoms.

While we are focused on our witch hunt, we are ignoring a major, identifiable risk to child development: the lack of time and space to develop characteristics associated with long-term success and mental stability: independence and self-efficacy. We are willing to rage about all the risks of safety and liability, but nothing is said of the risks of constant supervision and little is done about the risks of excessive screen time and sedentary, isolated behavior.

Of the research study, author Ashley Thomas says, “I think that developmental psychologists need to start talking about the costs of never allowing children to take a risk. People seem to make this calculation where they say: “Well, even though the chances of anything bad happening are small, there’s no harm in keeping an eye on the kids.” I think what developmental psychologists can say is: That’s mistaken — there is real harm in keeping an eye on the kids, if you’re keeping an eye on them every minute of every day.”

That is what Stranger Things nailed about child development: children are capable beings. Allowing them to exercise their capabilities within social groups without parent involvement is healthy (and missing from today’s childhood).

Source: psychcentral.com

Susan* bought her 6-year-old son John an iPad when he was in first grade. “I thought, ‘Why not let him get a jump on things?’ ” she told me during a therapy session. John’s school had begun using the devices with younger and younger grades — and his technology teacher had raved about their educational benefits — so Susan wanted to do what was best for her sandy-haired boy who loved reading and playing baseball.



She started letting John play different educational games on his iPad. Eventually, he discovered Minecraft, which the technology teacher assured her was “just like electronic Lego.” Remembering how much fun she had as a child building and playing with the interlocking plastic blocks, Susan let her son Minecraft his afternoons away.

We now know that those iPads, smartphones and Xboxes are a form of digital drug.

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There’s a reason that the most tech-cautious parents are tech designers and engineers. Steve Jobs was a notoriously low-tech parent. Silicon Valley tech executives and engineers enroll their kids in no-tech Waldorf Schools. Google founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page went to no-tech Montessori Schools, as did Amazon creator Jeff Bezos and Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales.



Many parents intuitively understand that ubiquitous glowing screens are having a negative effect on kids. We see the aggressive temper tantrums when the devices are taken away and the wandering attention spans when children are not perpetually stimulated by their hyper-arousing devices. Worse, we see children who become bored, apathetic, uninteresting and uninterested when not plugged in.

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According to a 2013 Policy Statement by the American Academy of Pediatrics, 8- to 10 year-olds spend 8 hours a day with various digital media while teenagers spend 11 hours in front of screens. One in three kids are using tablets or smartphones before they can talk. Meanwhile, the handbook of “Internet Addiction” by Dr. Kimberly Young states that 18 percent of college-age internet users in the US suffer from tech addiction.

Once a person crosses over the line into full-blown addiction — drug, digital or otherwise — they need to detox before any other kind of therapy can have any chance of being effective. With tech, that means a full digital detox — no computers, no smartphones, no tablets. The extreme digital detox even eliminates television. The prescribed amount of time is four to six weeks; that’s the amount of time that is usually required for a hyper-aroused nervous system to reset itself. But that’s no easy task in our current tech-filled society where screens are ubiquitous. A person can live without drugs or alcohol; with tech addiction, digital temptations are everywhere.

So how do we keep our children from crossing this line? It’s not easy.

The key is to prevent your 4-, 5- or 8-year-old from getting hooked on screens to begin with. That means Lego instead of Minecraft; books instead of iPads; nature and sports instead of TV. If you have to, demand that your child’s school not give them a tablet or Chromebook until they are at least 10 years old (others recommend 12).

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Source: nypost.com